Ownership and Creating Positive Stories
“be wary of bitter candidates” is one of the most valuable pieces of advice I was first offered as a new recruiter. I doubt that any of us have ever seen a job description specifying for a candidate with a negative mindset or disappointing attitude. Or one where the candidate had an acrimonious relationship with their prior boss or felt victimized by someone or some event around them.
It is basic psychology; people would rather spend their time with positive people. And that positivity doesn’t always refer to simply smiling and looking cheerful. Positivity is more about one’s overall perspective on life and one’s tendency to see and focus on the good in experiences, rather than dwelling on the bad.
Okay, so we have to acknowledge that life is not always fair. Some decisions do not go in our favor, and opportunities do not always work out. We might not “connect” with everyone, and neither can we expect everyone to “like” us. Some people’s values, morals and ideologies may not align with ours. It is going to happen…. It’s not ideal, but it will happen. Being negative, bitter and storytelling victimization solves nothing.
However, how we deal with issues, how we problem-solve them, and manage our way round them says a huge amount about who we are. No need to be in denial, but the art is acknowledging the issue and developing the positive story of how you managed, and what your learnings were.
It has been said that people fall into 4 categories:
1. People who make things happen.
2. People who watch things happen.
3. People to whom things happen.
4. People who don’t know what happened.
I am sure we all want to be regarded as that someone who makes things happen; as an employer, this is the profile most want from their hires. They own the situation and take the positive position. Given the choice, employers see less value in those that just watch, or are on the receiving end, or don’t understand what is happening to them, others, or the business.
We talk about having a growth mindset, owning challenges, taking them on and learning from them, therefore increasing your abilities and achievements. This is how you need to phrase your story, no matter the cause, position your story on how that experience has help you grow positively, S.O.A.R.
Situation – the background to what happened
Options – you had considered in deciding how to manage the situation
Action – what you decided to do, and why that was the appropriate choice
Result – expressing the outcome positively, including the learnings for the future
Every problem, challenge, or tough time you have experienced has an upside if you grow in personal and emotional strength from it. Learn to express the positive, rather than dwell on the negative.
“Don’t be a bitter candidate”.
Simon Crockett
Founder and Head Coach
To find out more email [email protected]
